Godless Ranting

I'm just going to get right into this.

So, according to most Christians, everyone has fallen short of the glory of God, we are not capable of living up to his standards and it's only through Jesus, forgiveness.. blah blah blah that we can even hope to get on his good side and get into heaven.

What if I got pregnant and decided that by the time the kid turns 10, if the baby hadn't obtained a doctorate and passed the bar I would punch it in the face 100 times. I know there's no way it could possibly do this, but I'm going to do it anyway. Maybe if the kid begs for forgiveness I'll stop. Boy, what a great person am I! Should that child be thankful I gave it the opportunity to not be punched in the face, by me, because of impossible rules I imposed before it was even born?